Hopeful

I’ve been so active, forward, drawn,
No longer did I stay awake till dawn.
Full of love, and joy simple words I thought to soon,
A type of hope so chemically reactive it blew up to the moon,
The night came near and so I hear,
My voice that is so hauntingly dear and clear,
So comfortable in your arms,
I was unprepared and left unarmed;
A baseline of sadness that is me,
My amnesia made me forget I am yet to be free,
This blanket of depression is what I know best,
Vulnerable, open, broken I am all that in eternal rest.
A cold death, a musical breath, a beautiful internal mess.
I’m a vampire that’s missing you every time we part,
It is hope that causes pain, but you that makes my heart. less dark.
To be so pretentious to think for a moment it would be easy,
Claire, please put it down, take a rest, take it easy; are you okay really ?
Un, Till tomorrow, a heart to borrow, a shadow to hide,
Reveal me true, and I’ll always bump into you.

– Claire 5.22.23

“Never again just tonight… okay! I’ll give you anything… but you want pain” – Jimmy Eat World