Closer

If I could write I would,
Feeling, feelings where are they,
I just want you close,
But you deny me that pleasure,
Instead surrounded in morning dread,
In feverish body, a lack of spirit,
I always thought I was strong,
I thought that enduring suffering was a talent,
But I was wrong.
I lost myself too much in real life this time.
I experienced the rawness of this frail body,
Older and weaker I will get,
And no matter how much or how lil money I make,
All that will be left of me will be these words;
Echoed across computer servers; a resonating sound of me
Somewhere out there up above down to now,
My soul is embedded in every poem,
Words only I could write in perfect order,
in narrow disorder,
The goal was always simple words,
Such complex enigmatic feelings that I wish to share,
I think and thought ‘ah if only you could understand’
If only I could say… if only you could feel just a bit,
Closer.

– Claire 12.9.23

“You should start drawing and writing again, you have a talent you’re not using, but make sure you have fun”

Can I even write anymore?… can I do anything. hope.. and homesick. I’ve always been grieving…. I’m a cute sweet cookie, with sadness as my filling.