Closer

If I could write I would,
Feeling, feelings where are they,
I just want you close,
But you deny me that pleasure,
Instead surrounded in morning dread,
In feverish body, a lack of spirit,
I always thought I was strong,
I thought that enduring suffering was a talent,
But I was wrong.
I lost myself too much in real life this time.
I experienced the rawness of this frail body,
Older and weaker I will get,
And no matter how much or how lil money I make,
All that will be left of me will be these words;
Echoed across computer servers; a resonating sound of me
Somewhere out there up above down to now,
My soul is embedded in every poem,
Words only I could write in perfect order,
in narrow disorder,
The goal was always simple words,
Such complex enigmatic feelings that I wish to share,
I think and thought ‘ah if only you could understand’
If only I could say… if only you could feel just a bit,
Closer.

– Claire 12.9.23

“You should start drawing and writing again, you have a talent you’re not using, but make sure you have fun”

Can I even write anymore?… can I do anything. hope.. and homesick. I’ve always been grieving…. I’m a cute sweet cookie, with sadness as my filling.

Late

I am a complete disarray of colors,
I break the rules and stay up way too late,
I know when I wake up today I’ll regret this,
But still I reach to taste it,
I long for that of which I cannot reach,
Should I start a twitter; a twitch ?
Should I invest in money, love, or fame?
What will satisfy this urge, this itch.
Does any of it matter, millions in my bank;
Million likes and licks, number one on his rank.
I am in eternal blue, a fog, a haze, a maze.
My god no one understands this fate.
Will no one love this heart inside; too late?
I’ll jump. okay… okay just a bit wait !
I don’t need to be caught, or taught the way,
I just don’t want to be in your way.
Trust me though,
I know more about the night than you will ever know.
Forget it, got to sleep end of flow.

– Claire 4.28.23

Lina

You are like a fever in my heart,
A radiating sun strike that is your blade;
You bring me to tears in my sheets,
And not in the way you might think.
Your moody smile makes it real,
Fate has struck me down and I kneel,
I bend the knee to you.
Starstruck; I’m compelled to write to you.
Skeptical of your steps,
Gentle as they may seem; I worried still,
Worried all for naught.
Uncorruptible you are,
I cannot poison you.
I throw magic arrows in disarray.
When you hold my face like that,
I can’t resist; have me if you wish.
I dream to taste your lips,
Hold me close don’t go.
Please keep me warm.
Yes right there..

By Lina

4.21.23

I love you

Death is just a door,
And sleep is a convention,
Time is relative,
And the only thing that is real is that which we feel,
Our eyes are not just mirrors they are projectors,
When you change the way you look at things,
The things you look at change,
To be or not to be that is the question,
But the why is much more important,
Choice both kindness and crime bleed throughout time,
Separation is an illusion, and so is the end.
You know?
Earth is just a blue shimmer.
And the sky is not just a collection of stars.
The iron from our blood comes from there.
So if you ever feel alone just look up, or in;
Because I’ll be there.

-Claire