As if

As if my love can be anything but selfish,
A suffocating feeling to oneself and others,
To force a holding a restraint a hand to someone else,
What can it be but romantic oppressive bullshit,
True love is something else entirely to love for what they are,
To encapsulate their capacity their choice their voice,
To be denied is one thing but to be forgotten is the worst,
I rather be ripped to shreds than be buried in snow;
I’ll take a shovel myself then bury myself in giving earth,
A dirt that is my soul and body a place I know well,
A person who knows me well is all but me;
Take it all down in a sea of pain and sorrows let yourself bleed,
Let it hurt, let my blood spill in salty sea and float away.

– December 8th, 2022 by Claire

Hopeful

I’ve been so active, forward, drawn,
No longer did I stay awake till dawn.
Full of love, and joy simple words I thought to soon,
A type of hope so chemically reactive it blew up to the moon,
The night came near and so I hear,
My voice that is so hauntingly dear and clear,
So comfortable in your arms,
I was unprepared and left unarmed;
A baseline of sadness that is me,
My amnesia made me forget I am yet to be free,
This blanket of depression is what I know best,
Vulnerable, open, broken I am all that in eternal rest.
A cold death, a musical breath, a beautiful internal mess.
I’m a vampire that’s missing you every time we part,
It is hope that causes pain, but you that makes my heart. less dark.
To be so pretentious to think for a moment it would be easy,
Claire, please put it down, take a rest, take it easy; are you okay really ?
Un, Till tomorrow, a heart to borrow, a shadow to hide,
Reveal me true, and I’ll always bump into you.

– Claire 5.22.23

“Never again just tonight… okay! I’ll give you anything… but you want pain” – Jimmy Eat World

Searching Meaning in Another

In the struggle for a better tomorrow,

Out of breath and hollow,

Too tired to desire,

Fire that will expire,

An escape to feel comes near,

Crumble and kneel,

A glimpse of real,

Far too far,

You are to cuddle,

Self worth in another cycle,

Self worth in love an idol,

Cannot love oneself,

So we search the sky,

A sign a girl a guy,

A pointless flow to slow,

One day you will know,

The darkest seed will grow,

Hello ?

Rise acorn from this sorrow.

~Sky Attaway

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

I’m only human

The ideals we work for are not what we live for.
I attempt to uncover and dissolve the human condition.
Selfish levels under that,
Under the folly of desire, spend all life wandering,
then die at the end.
life, an elaborate game a cosmic joke.
I sincerely playing
but not serious. still fall prey to mortality,
I’m human after all,
I can only grasp things a trinity,
mental, physical, and spiritual in the same way I would grasp sand.
Always slipping away.
In the transient wave of all things.

~Sky Attaway

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.